Wishing, Waiting, Wanting
An Original Poem by Shanna Olson
What hides behind those, under those hazel eyes?
A love, eternal, that sheilds hate and despise,
Wishing, Waiting, Wanting,
Our love has no demise.
How far a distance will you wait for me?
Beyond the sky, beyond the sea.
Wishing, Waiting, Wanting,
Our love, set free.
When will our love meet again?
When the sun sets, under the star soaked skies,
Wishing, Waiting, Wanting,
I'ill pray for no more goodbyes.
Your refrain is well done. The use of both the first and the third lines makes the structure very solid and reliable. I also like your last line; it's interesting how it, being the last line, is a kind of goodbye. I don't understand the "sheilds hate and despise". Do you secretly hate him or he you? It just sounds like your "love" is hiding your true feelings. I know that probably isn't the case, but the poem makes me think that way.
ReplyDeleteI can see where the question of whether or not I hate him came up. I don't. The phrase that said "shields hate and despise" are more of a refferal to the opinions of others about the love they share and how they have blocked it out.
DeleteThis sounds very meaningful.
ReplyDeleteI like the refrain and the three words you used. This makes the reader think about were you are coming from.
ReplyDelete